How Do Autistic Children Play?

Let me start with this: all children play—autistic children included.

But (and here’s where things get interesting), autistic children might play a little differently than what we expect from the highlight reels of parenting magazines or playground moms who claim their toddler is “really into Shakespeare right now.” Spoiler: that’s not the standard.

As both a psychologist and a mom who’s played approximately 347 hours of “pretend to be a cat who owns a bakery,” I want to help parents see the beauty in how their child engages with the world—whether that play looks like building a world out of blocks, lining up toy cars with surgical precision, or spinning in circles while giggling.

Let’s break it down.

For autistic kids, play is often a way to express themselves without needing words. That’s important to remember. You might not hear a running narrative like “This is the dragon castle and this is where the queen sleeps,” but you are seeing imagination, curiosity, and joy—just maybe in a more solo or sensory-focused way.

Some autistic kids love:

• Spinning objects (because that’s fascinating)
• Sorting by color or size (hello, budding engineer!)
• Repeating the same play sequence (consistency is comforting)
• Exploring textures, sounds, and lights

And guess what? That’s still play. And it’s meaningful.

You might notice your child prefers playing alone, or side-by-side rather than with a group. That’s called parallel play, and it’s common—not just in autistic children but in many toddlers. The difference? Autistic kids might hang out in that parallel zone a little longer.

And that’s okay.

They’re still learning. Still observing. Still playing. Just in a way that feels safe and makes sense to them.

I know it can be hard when your child wants to reenact the same scene from the same show 27 times in a row. (Shoutout to every parent who’s been stuck in a loop of “Let It Go” since 2014.)

But repetition can be:

• Comforting
• Predictable
• Empowering

And it’s a sign that your child has mastered something. Think of it like a toddler mic drop.

Autistic children can and do engage in social play—it just might take a little more support and a lot more patience. That might look like:

• Taking turns with help from an adult
• Practicing pretend play with a script or prompt
• Playing structured games with clear rules (many autistic kids love rules!)

Pro tip: Start small, keep it fun, and follow their lead. If they’re into trains, you better believe the social world is about to be built on tracks.

Sand, water, slime, bubbles—sensory play is often a big hit with autistic kiddos. It’s more than just fun (though it is that). It helps regulate emotions, build motor skills, and create moments of calm in a world that can feel loud and unpredictable.

So yes, you might have a glitter explosion in your kitchen—but also a child who just spent 45 minutes in deep, joyful engagement. Worth it.

There’s no “right” way to play. There’s just their way. And when we meet our kids where they are—not where we expected them to be—magic happens. (Sometimes messy, glitter-covered magic, but magic nonetheless.)

If you’re ever unsure about your child’s play or developmental path, that’s okay too. Supporting neurodiverse development is what I’m here for—no judgment, just help (and maybe coffee).
With warmth,
Dr. Sharon Singh
Child Psychologist, Early Development Specialist, and Master of the 5-Minute Cleanup Before Bedtime